Rock 'n' Roll Never Forgets RETRO: Liza Minnelli, Results

What happens when a Broadway legend teams up with the Pet Shop Boys?

This week we’re doing something a little different that requires a bit of an explanation. About two weeks ago, I saw an Instagram post poking fun at Lady Gaga’s current Chromatica Ball tour featuring a short clip of Liza Minnelli singing a synthpop song. My curiosity was peaked when I realized she was performing on the UK music program Top Of The Pops, which as the name suggests implied that Liza was there promoting a hit single. A quick search later and it hit me that this wasn’t just any song she was singing, it was a dance version of Stephen Sondheim’s ballad “Losing My Mind” from the musical Follies. 

Now, “Liza Minnelli cut a synthpop version of a Sondheim song that was a hit in Britain” should be interesting enough on its own, the kind of thing that would make for the start of a viral “I was today years old when I found out…” Reddit post. But folks that’s not all! Liza didn’t just cut a single; she released a whole album, an album produced by none other than the Pet Shop Boys at the height of their powers! I love musical theater, I love synthpop; how was I only learning about this now? So, we’re breaking format this week and partying like it’s 1989 as we review Results, the mostly forgotten collaboration from one of America’s best known entertainers and Britain’s favorite synth duo.

Liza Minnelli, Results (1989)

Who Are You?: It’s Liza Frickin’ Minnelli! The daughter of Judy Garland and director Vincent Minnelli, Liza is the rare instance of Hollywood nepotism producing someone interesting. She’s one of the less than two dozen people to achieve EGOT status (winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony). If you don’t know her as Sally Bowles in Cabaret, you might know her as Lucille Two on Arrested Development. 

But by 1989, Minnelli’s career was at a low point. Although she still had icon status, her star had greatly diminished. She hadn’t been on Broadway since the poorly received 1984 musical The Rink from Cabaret composers Kander and Ebb. She hadn’t released a studio album since 1977, and in 1988 she co-starred in two different box office disasters, Rent-A-Cop and Arthur 2: On The Rocks. The only career positive she had at the time was a 1988 tour with Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. 

So, how did Liza wind up teaming up with the Pet Shop Boys? Well, with nothing left to lose, Minnelli signed with Epic Records and said “I want to make a pop record.” By luck, the Pet Shop Boys’ manager got wind of this and arranged a meeting. Pet Shop Boys lead singer Neil Tennant absolutely adored Minnelli and leapt at the chance to write songs for her, while Minnelli was already familiar with the Pet Shop Boys and loved their song “Rent.” So this would be a meeting of mutual admirers. For what it’s worth, two years prior, the Pet Shop Boys teamed up with Dusty Springfield for the classic “What Have I Done To Deserve This?,” so this wouldn’t be their first time teaming up with an iconic diva.

Was Anybody Listening: Stateside, Results plateaued at 128 on the Billboard 200 Album Chart, while the “Losing My Mind” single only appeared on the dance charts (at a paltry #26). In England it was a different story. There the album reached #6, achieving Gold status, and “Losing My Mind” also topped off at #6. The album’s follow up singles charted as well, but never broke the English Top 40. “Losing My Mind” has nearly 3-million plays on Spotify, but the rest of the record sits between 80-thousand and 300-thousand.

The Album: I think it’s obvious how much I love this version of “Losing My Mind.” Surely the rest of the album will be at the same level of quality? Unfortunately, while Results is quite good, “Losing My Mind” was the only song that made me wonder where this had been all my life. The album’s just not as outrageous as I hoped for from the phrase “Liza Minnelli synthpop album produced by the Pet Shop Boys.”

Half of Results is new material written by the Pet Shop Boys, while the other half is covers. We’ll look at the original material first. Our opening track is the electro torch song “I Want You Now,” a song that is very much in Liza’s wheelhouse. The third track, “If There Was Love” feels the most like a Pet Shop Boys track, featuring a sung-spoken vocal and vaguely political lyrics. Liza does a competent job on it, but I feel like it would have been better off in Neil Tennant’s hands. “So Sorry, I Said” though, could only be sung by Liza. A gorgeous ballad full of regret over being stuck in a bad relationship, it feels more like a Broadway number than the record’s literal Sondheim cover.

What follows though is what’s probably the most divisive track on the record, “Don’t Drop Bombs.” A kiss off to a cheating partner, this track sees Liza more-or-less rapping over a big hi-hat driven beat. It should not work. The idea of Liza Minnelli doing anything that could be charitably called hip-hop should have gotten a lot of people fired; but my god,  her confidence and attitude on this track won me over.

On the cover front, we have the aforementioned “Losing My Mind,” two covers of Pet Shop Boys hits and two additional covers, both proven material for other singers. The Pet Shop Boys covers (“Rent” and “Tonight Is Forever”) are an interesting departure for the record because the synths of the Boys’ original recordings are replaced by full orchestral arrangements by longtime David Lynch collaborate Angelo Badalmenti. 

“Love Pains,” was a 1978 disco hit for Yvonne Elliman and here it gets a fresh coat of ‘80s electronica paint. Liza’s version is nothing special, but she’s in good voice and “Love Pains” is a rock solid pop song, so the results are still pretty good. The record’s worst track though is “Twist In My Sobriety,” a cover of a 1988 hit written and performed by British singer-songwriter Tanita Tikaram. Tikaram’s original version is earthy with a smokey vocal performance reminiscent of Grace Jones. The Liza version though does too much. She’s trying for a Kate Bush voice, but gets too breathy at times. The real flaw is in the arrangement, it’s proto-trip hop with a clumsy rap intro by someone named Donald Johnson (Actual lyrics: “It's Liza with a Z, not Lisa with a S/'cause Lisa with a S goes SSS, not ZZZ.”) and too many big sounds that threaten to overshadow the diva at the center of the record. It’s ambitious, but it’s a mess.

Results closes with one last original song, a very 80s lounge track called “I Can’t Say Goodnight.” It’s a low key ending, but as far as closing numbers from Liza go, I’ll stick to “Cabaret.” In the end, am I glad to have come across this record? Yes, but I can see why it’s not talked about more often. But hey, it’s a helluva lot better than the last time a Broadway legend mixed it up with dance music…The Ethel Merman Disco Album (That’s real and it’s funny for three minutes at a time.)

Lost Classic, Has Some Gems, or Justly Ignored: Has Some Gems

Tracks You Should Hear: “Losing My Mind,” “So Sorry, I Said,” “Don’t Drop Bombs,” “Rent”